In preparation for my trip overseas and anticipation of my reunion with Kerry, I underwent the process of bachelor-beard removal via three steps. It's not quite the 12-step opus of recovering alcoholics, but a man's return to civilization via grooming is no less important. Step One (above) is possibly the most important: Acceptance. Acceptance that not all men are created for beard growth – case in point the two months it took to even concoct this scraggly thing.
Step Two (above) is Denial. Chiefly, denial of beard failure as displayed through a final fling with one of facial-hairdom's most shunned and misunderstood creatures: the porn-star look.
Step Three (above) is Cowboy. This step needs no further explanation beyond the fact it is awesome.