February 01, 2015

Dear Diary: January 22-February 1, 1985

January 22, 1985

We went skiing today. It was my first time going skiing in my entire life! I liked it. It was really fun! Goodbye!

It remains really fun to this day. The sport left such an impression that not long afterward, my mom procured a single pair of used skis and boots that somehow all three of us siblings fit into, and then fought over. We used them sparingly, most memorably during the Blizzard of 1986. I then entered a great period of skiing darkness, emerging five years ago when Kerry and I bought matching skis for Christmas.


January 25, 1985

Me and my brother Jacob or Jake went on his paper route and then we went to the North Star Theatre to see the movie 2010 "the year we make contact". Whatever "contact" means. All of my friends at school are Kien, Ken, Brian, Chad, Dwight, K.C. and Patrick. Patrick gave me a real neat rock. Nobody knows what kind of rock it is. Anyway… goodbye!

I love how I felt the need to clarify to my dimwit diary – 25 days into the calendar year – that the Jacob I keep referring to is my brother, and that he also goes by the name Jake. I love how the two of us, aged 9 and 11, could go downtown by ourselves to watch a movie – and what a movie, I recall thinking, unaware of the existence of 2001: A Space Odyssey. I wasn't yet old enough to grasp a whole lot of pop culture. Like when I saw Labyrinth the next year, and came away as the Number One Fan of an actor named David Bowie.


January 26, 1985

Okla and Ija are going to get face transplants and Ija is going to get a hair due. Mouse, Mouse and Elmkah survived. Anyway, good bye.

These were the names of three of my ookpiks, small leather and rabbit-fur toys that defined my childhood. I didn't go into great detail as to what happened for good reason: it was one of the worst days of my life. I popped three ookpiks (and two plushie mice) in the microwave, pretending it was an inter-dimensional portal to their imaginary world. I programmed them for a minute on power-setting zero, believing it the equivalent of a blast of room-temperature air. Zero defaulted to full power, and in 20 to 30 seconds there was burning leather and rabbit fur. My mom wasn't home; my sister was in command, and after much yelling and tears, we agreed on a cover-up story of a terrible accident in which the ookpiks were lit by an element on the gas range. We believed this to be a much lesser charge to plead guilty to.


January 29, 1985

Tommorrow is a very busy day. We have swimming at 9:30 to 11:30, open gym, 8:20 to 8:50, Science club 12:00 to 12:50 1:00, other kids have team handball 12:00 to 12:30 and gym, and a spelling test. Today I got Team 1's chart, I got 20 stars, Sarah and Kien got 19, Tejinder got around 16 and Brian had 4. Good bye.

I kicked ass in these performance charts. A gold star sticker was added after each aced pop spelling or math quiz, and winning resulted in a selection of our choice from a box of free books. I won so many of these books that come spring I opted for a second copy of Anne Of Green Gables to give as a present. Pity poor Brian and his meagre four stars, but ignore the irony that I misspelled "tomorrow" in my diary post about it.


February 1, 1985

I had a terrible day. In the morning I got a stomachache. In the afternoon I stayed home because I got Jake's flu. I threw up 3 times. Good bye.

Jake, back in my bad graces. Circle of life.

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