January 18, 2006

This Post Edited For Content

I don't usually do anecdotes, but I'm toiling away this week on my HOWieZine submission and don't want the place to get too dusty. Plus, this story makes me laugh everytime I remember it now.

It happened like it was yesterday – because it did. A coworker and I got on the bus in the morning, about 7:30, to get to our carpool pick-up spot. The bus is moderately full, some available seats but not two beside each other. So we stand in the space near the back door.

There's seats in the back, a seemingly innocuous old lady mutters behind where we're standing. But we're waiting it out; it's not a long ride.

Then: There's seats in the fudging back.

And then, to the equally old woman beside her: Fudging backpacks in my fudging face.

And then: Do you see this? Fudge. Fudging backpacks. I fudging hate these fudges who fudging stand right in my face.

Two seats then become available, so we head for them. The lady swats at my friend's bag as we vamoose. I lean in. Don't touch her, I say.

Fudge you. Fudge you and your fudging backpacks.

I'd flip normally, but it's funny. I can't help it. The guttermouth on this otherwise kempt and benign senior citizen. My friend and I sit together for the next five minutes or so, all the while this woman continues her low-key barrage of backpack-related fudge. I'm stupefied. What could possibly make an old lady this cantankerous by 7:30 on a Tuesday morning?


jk said...

classic story! that lady needs a good fudge.

lew! said...

She was probably on her way home from an all night bender.
They look innocent, but those little old ladies -- they travel in packs and beat up on the young! I've seen it!

Consider yourself lucky, fudger.

Mary said...

hahahaahhahaha oh my god, that is hillarious. She really doesn't give a fudge about her reputation in public, I guess.

A Little Hut said...

OMG that is hilarious!!! How did you keep a straight face?

Melissa said...

Haha, what a fudging lunatic!

Maybe she wouldn't have been so mean if your ugly backpack wasn't so obviously invading her personal space! C'mon, have a little courtesy! ;-)

You probably should have started purposely bumping into her with it. That would have been fudging hilarious!

Courtney said...

haha, little old ladies can be nasty, nasty people. lucky for you two she didn't have a cane.

Jeope said...

We saw her again this morning - gave me shivers! Luckily we had seats to sit in this time. She wears this cute pink parka, but her face is a permanent frown like a wet sponge.

Princesa de Chocolate said...

Tears were coming out of my eyes when I read this... lol